Tag Archives: desires

I’m Starting to Feel

I’m feeling like a writer
I’m feeling disappointment
delays
and still
it’s all making sense
like why would this be easy
like every time I hear no
maybe it’s really because I said no
to something or someone else
something I could have done more
could have done better
like every time I hear no
it becomes
a part of my reason
I’m starting to feel like a writer
like it sucks to have to
explain 300 pages to someone who won’t
care until I make them care in 30 seconds
or less
or until the lights go out
or on
just read it
I’m thinking
like why do I have to stop
and explain to you
that
you need this
it’s obvious
to me
and for as long as you hesitate
is as long as you can fool yourself
that you know what you don’t know
that things are not presented to you
for a reason
every time
you procrastinate
obstinate
you could be involved
assuming that my words
have something
you might need
now or later
I’m starting to feel like a writer
because you don’t think I am
and this suffering
is actually a comfort
because it reminds me
that my desires are real
and I need to pursue them
to exist
that my passions
are actually
me